08-03-2010
KEEP WHAT IS WORTH KEEPING
... and with a single breath of kindness, blow the rest away.
It's no secret that I've been through a lot of crap in my life and it has taken me years to realize that I am in control of my own worth. Nobody can define my worthiness, but me. I'm well aware of the fact that I am an extremely flawed individual. I know that I'm neurotic and emotionally needy. However, I stand firm in my belief that this will not be my demise. Why? Because I'm also honest, loving, loyal, accepting, whimsical, and giving. My worth is defined by all of those beautiful qualities, by the way I treat others and I am positive that, in due time, someone will come along that appreciates them. And it is for that reason that I cannot sit back and allow my feelings to be hurt by someone who doesn't appreciate my existence. I don't need to sit around and try to sell myself to him, to convince him that I am worthy of his acknowledgement. If he doesn't see the beauty beyond my flaws, it's his unfortunate loss. I have been made a fool of and have been dragged around like a rag doll and the worst part of it all is that I have allowed this to happen. By doing this, I have shown the world that I am unworthy of more, which is a shame because I'm absolutely worth so much more. I know that I deserve better than that. I know that I deserve someone who gets excited about spending time with me, someone who cares about me, and above all, I am deserving of someone who treats me with respect. So I look at this moment of my life as a passing of time, as a lesson learned. And so it is that I must take it in the palms of my hands, suck in all the air I can, and send it floating into a distant past.
07-25-2010
KEEP WHAT IS WORTH KEEPING
... and with a single breath of kindness, blow the rest away.
It's no secret that I've been through a lot of crap in my life and it has taken me years to realize that I am in control of my own worth. Nobody can define my worthiness, but me. I'm well aware of the fact that I am an extremely flawed individual. I know that I'm neurotic and emotionally needy. However, I stand firm in my belief that this will not be my demise. Why? Because I'm also honest, loving, loyal, accepting, whimsical, and giving. My worth is defined by all of those beautiful qualities, by the way I treat others and I am positive that, in due time, someone will come along that appreciates them. And it is for that reason that I cannot sit back and allow my feelings to be hurt by someone who doesn't appreciate my existence. I don't need to sit around and try to sell myself to him, to convince him that I am worthy of his acknowledgement. If he doesn't see the beauty beyond my flaws, it's his unfortunate loss. I have been made a fool of and have been dragged around like a rag doll and the worst part of it all is that I have allowed this to happen. By doing this, I have shown the world that I am unworthy of more, which is a shame because I'm absolutely worth so much more. I know that I deserve better than that. I know that I deserve someone who gets excited about spending time with me, someone who cares about me, and above all, I am deserving of someone who treats me with respect. So I look at this moment of my life as a passing of time, as a lesson learned. And so it is that I must take it in the palms of my hands, suck in all the air I can, and send it floating into a distant past.
____________________
07-25-2010
IF IT MAKES YOU HAPPY, SAY SO
Stop being comfortable with things that have already proven themselves inadequate.
The world is ever changing. Any tiny thing that you do can change the direction of your life, whether it be in an instant or in years. I think it's imperative to tell people how you feel, to speak your mind, and to stand your ground. Oftentimes, when we discover a deeper care for someone than we expected, we are scared and intimidated. There are a million what if's that run through our mind. A lot of times we don't pursue it because we don't want things to change; we are convinced that these deeper feelings are propelled by the fact that things are the way they are and changing that will complicate it. It's hard to keep things simple when we invest our emotions in them. I am here to say: let that go. If you care about someone, tell them because one day they will be gone. Whether they leave by their own free will or if they simply fade away with the gradual separation of day-to-day life, they will be gone. Life is full of tiny leap of faith moments, where you have an opportunity to jump in head first and leave all fear behind. We should strive to confront these moments head-on, to give life a chance to really prove it's worth living. Stop finding comfort in familiarity and start taking a chance on the better, more exciting things life has to offer. Stop living in fear and simply start living.
____________________
05-11-2010
DATING POLITICS
Seriously? Are we doing this?
I recently read an article in Glamour magazine making the claim that, in the 21st century, it has finally become acceptable for women to have sex with men, no strings attached, no relationship. This got me to thinking ... is it truly acceptable, in 2010, for a woman to sleep around?
I would have to say not so much. This brings me to what I like to call The Politics of Dating. The ridiculous politics involved in dating is the exact reason why I've just completely stopped dating. Seriously.
I honestly feel like I'm campaigning to run the country when I'm dating someone new. It's like everything said or done is a huge deal and the pros and cons must be weighed before a decision is made.
OK so you're confused on what Dating Politics is? That's OK. Here's some examples.
1.) Controversy over the title. There are 10 million "titles" for a modern-day relationship. Men get so pissed when a woman wants to put a "title" on something and to counter that, women get pissed when there is no "title" put on it. Jesus people. Are we 12 or are we 20? Honestly, putting a title on a relationship means NOTHING. Hell, in this world being married clearly means NOTHING. If she wants to know what to call this, give her some title that satisfies her and move on. You're not gaining any more responsibility or expectation, trust me, she's been expecting more out of you from day one.
2.) Anger about the past. I mean, damn, whatever it was, it happened before this (whatever this is). People like to say that history repeats itself so whatever your boyfriend/girlfriend did in the past is a good indication of what they'll do in your relationship. WRONG. I agree that history repeats itself, but not EVERYTHING in history is repeated. This is actually the prime reason why women cannot just have sex with men without strings attached. Because it will get them in trouble later when they find out. They will find out, too, because other men have big mouths and even larger egos (look out for a blog on that). If people would chill the hell out about what's happened in the past, it would really make my freakin' day. Get over it!
I am going to add more dating politics to this list in due time. For now, chill the hell out. Enjoy the people around you and stop looking for signs to run (like I should talk.).
